none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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