Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
