I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
