My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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