Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
