all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
