dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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