Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
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Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
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My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
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