we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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