ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
