you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize