i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
