Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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