White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
