It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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