so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
