that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
