i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
