The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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