I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
