Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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