Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm at about main and main street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize