dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
