we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize