If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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