I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
