i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
