If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
should my penis look like a turkey
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
