Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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