Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
