She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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