Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize