she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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