Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
