question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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