Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
