"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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