I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Text me some of your sweat
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize