why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
