my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm eating all of the evidence.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
