Sponge bath it is.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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