Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
