Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
pray to the hookup gods
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize