margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
