everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
