I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
