: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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