Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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