i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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