im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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