Life is so much better after having sex.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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