i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
