I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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