I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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