cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
