just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Let's paint friendship bongs
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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