I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize