ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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