paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just tell him i said nine months
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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