i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize